I recently happened upon a 2017 TED talk by ageism activist Ashton Applewhite called “Let’s End Ageism.” It forced me to examine how I’d been feeling about growing older, and I realized with a shock that what I had been experiencing was fear. I’m sure this is partially due to caring for my parents during their final years.
But Applewhite believes that this dread of aging is actually a learned prejudice that pits us against our future selves and each other. In other words: it’s not the aging but the fear of aging that robs us of living fully in our later years. She states, much to my astonishment, that only 4% of older Americans end up in nursing homes* and that 90% of us will not suffer with dementia. “Aging is not a problem to be fixed or a disease to be cured,” she says. “It is a natural, powerful, lifelong process that unites us all.” (*Note: that figure, however, seems very low according to Stanford School of Medicine, which says that 20% of Americans die in nursing homes.)
I’ve always worked with a lot of younger people – especially in news media and PR – and I’m thankful for that. Even though I have felt the occasional sting of ageism in recent years, I’ve benefited greatly from working with colleagues half my age. Just like my own millennial daughter, they keep me in touch with what’s new. I think it’s impossible to fake one’s generation, though. For example, “OK, Boomer” makes me (a baby boomer) laugh, while at the same time I will never, ever enjoy being tethered to a cell phone.
I also choose to believe that my years of work experience – first in the performing arts, then in entertainment/arts news media, and now in PR for arts – bring value to my clients that they wouldn’t get from a younger person. Although I’m pretty sure that most clients don’t realize how much experience I’ve actually had – from singing and producing jingles, recording voice-overs, writing ad copy, and appearing in locally-produced feature films, to earning my Actors’ Equity card, being on Atlantic Records and MTV, writing hundreds of songs and thousands of news-story scripts, and even modeling, for goodness sake – they don’t really need to know the sordid details. I also remember how – as a young person – I rolled my metaphorical eyes (or did I metaphorically roll my eyes?) at older colleagues’ reminiscing. Besides, I’m the one who labeled myself a publicist to the exclusion of those other roles 15 years ago.
The media landscape has also changed dramatically since I started Sally Cohen PR in 2005 and I have had to change with it, sometimes with a fervent longing for “the good old days” when, for example, daily local newspapers were filled with daily local news. But mostly, I just work hard to keep up with new tech and trends.
Growing up, I would never have qualified as being wise beyond my years, or what I jokingly refer to as “wise behind my ears.” No, I was a late bloomer, but believed that by now, I was appropriately wise for my number of revolutions around the sun (don’t ask). Apparently, though, I still have much to learn, and that’s okay. I don’t want to be haunted by the specter of worst-case-scenario aging, so that I stop setting new goals because “it’s too late” or become close-minded to new ideas due to late-onset cynicism. I want to keep being engaged, enthusiastic, and – crucially – as fearless about the future as I can possibly be.
Let me know your thoughts about aging, and thanks for listening,
6 comments
My issues with aging are not so much the physical things, although those do matter. What I find most challenging is the suffering and loss of friends and family, the decline and (impending) loss of parents, etc. Those things are inevitable byproducts of living a long life. For me, that’s the most painful component of ‘enjoying’ golden years.
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Thanks for sharing thoughts that I think most people experience,, but don’t say, Sally, and I seriously hope you’ll continue writing posts! You inspired me to write a response.
Sally, this is a terrific post and one that brings clarity to some of the things I’ve been thinking and feeling recently as well. I think I’d put this way: the moment you stop striving to grow and develop more fully as a professional and a person is the moment things start heading the wrong way. Thanks for the wise words.
Having made about the same number of solar revolutions, I can say, “You nailed it, girl!” What an elegantly penned perspective of the complexities we boomers face. Please don’t let this be your first and last post. The tech savvy latter generation you work with should use your script as an example of how important pristine, we’ll-thought-out copy is in effective communication. All my best.
You are ageless, my friend, and very wise. That was a great read. Thank you!